Couple Sues Neighbor Over Cigarette Smoke

Richard and Donna Ganguet live in the Four Seasons gated development in El Dorado Hills. They say the neighbor’s tobacco smoke settles in their backyard and seeps in through their windows.

The Ganguets are suing their next-door neighbor over cigar and cigarette smoke they say wafts into their backyard and house.

Because of the smoke, the couple say, they no longer sit on their patio. They also try to sandwich in swims in the side-yard lap pool between their neighbors’ smoking sessions.

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Minnesota: Bong Water is an Illegal Drug

The Minnesota Supreme Court says bong water can qualify as a controlled substance.

In a split decision today, the high court says a person can be prosecuted for a first-degree drug crime for 25 grams or more of bong water that tests positive for a controlled substance.

The Supreme Court says that counts as a drug “mixture” under state law. It noted that the liquid wasn’t plain water, but had a pink color and fruity odor. A narcotics officer testified that drug users sometimes keep bong water to drink later.

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If you haven’t heard by now, the recent story of a boy drifting away in a homemade hot-air balloon was a complete hoax. It has recently come to light that the purpose of the hoax was for footage for a TV show to raise money. The intended purpose of that money? To build a bunker for protection from the sun exploding in 2012.

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A 27-year-old Southeast Portland man who beat his ex-girlfriend and then stabbed her pet fish and left it impaled in her apartment has been sentenced to two years of probation and a psychological evaluation.

An attorney for Donald Earl Fite III said he didn’t want to talk about the details of the assault, but that stabbing the fish was “a very low point” in his client’s life.

“He is absolutely mortified and ashamed about what he did to the fish,” said attorney Tom MacNair today in Multnomah County Circuit Court.

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The Motion Picture Association has sent one of its big shot lobbyists to New Zealand to advocate tougher anti-piracy legislation, and to promote a propagandistic comic book set be handed out to thousands of local kids. Interestingly, the comic doesn’t touch the subject of copyright. Instead it uses false threats to scare children and parents about the dangers of file-sharing.

In an attempt to convince the local government that pirates don’t belong on the Internet, the Motion Picture Association (MPA) sent chief policy officer Greg Frazier over from Washington. Frazier was not alone though, as he also brought in 17,000 anti-pirate comic books, ready to be handed out to children at cinemas.

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Call to Ban Fake Virginity Product in Egypt

Conservative Egyptian lawmakers have called for a ban on imports of a Chinese-made kit meant to help women fake their virginity and one scholar has even called for the “exile” of anyone who imports or uses it.

The Artificial Virginity Hymen kit, distributed by the Chinese company Gigimo, costs about $30. It is intended to help newly married women fool their husbands into believing they are virgins — culturally important in a conservative Middle East where sex before marriage is considered by many to be illicit. The product leaks a blood-like substance when inserted and broken.

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This year’s Ig Nobel award winners have been announced. The Ig Nobel awards are the annual tribute to scientific research that on the surface seems goofy but is often surprisingly practical.

Can’t get milk from a cow? Try calling her Bessie or Buttercup. A pair of British researchers who found that dairy cows with names yield more milk than unnamed cows are among this year’s winners.

Why is it that I keep coming across these stories of “scientists” doing useless research? Honestly, how do I become a scientist? It seems to me you can come up with some bullshit subject to research and someone will pay you for it.

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Double or Nothing… Make that Nothing

PROMISES that special chemicals could duplicate money have allegedly duped three Victorian businesses.

Police said the businesses gave about $160,000 in cash to two men in the belief their money would double when soaked in chemicals.

A supermarket receipt, uncovered during investigations, has since revealed the chemical formula as bleach, baby powder and hair spray.

Excuse me a minute while I try to stop laughing…

Okay, so here is how this went down:

  1. Two men made friends with a business owner.
  2. They told him they could duplicate money. [This is where I start to have problems].
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Six Women Beat Up 7th for Bad Karaoke

Six Connecticut women are facing assault charges for attacking a Westchester County woman for her amateurish karaoke performance at a bar, police said Friday.

Leidy Alcantara, 25, was singing “A Dios Le Pido” by Colombian superstar Juanes on Wednesday night when suspect Kiana Strickland, 20, began heckling her, cops said.

Now, although I would never personally resort to violence, I can’t say I blame these six women. I have sat through some god awful Karaoke–if I didn’t have as much self restraint as I do I would have hurled bottles and chairs.

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Cops Shoot Bozo In Front of School Kids

Bozo came too close to the kids and got shot; not the famous clown, but a dog named “Bozo.”

Students at Bebensee Elementary School in Arlington were outside on a bus drill, when two dogs ran onto school grounds.

But when Bozo started nipping at police, an officer was forced to pull his gun and shoot Bozo, police said.

Great work! Now the kids have been exposed to the horror of seeing a dog being shot. I’m sure they will all be just fine.

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